I remember back when we first graduated from college and I started working. I was a novelty. I would constantly hear things like, "I can't believe how young you are!" or "You have so much maturity for your age."
At the time, I found it alternately complimentary and annoying.
Along the way, I aged. (Don't we all.) And knew that at some point that novelty would fade. And ultimately end. Because, after all, you don't stay young forever.
People stopped making those comments about four years ago. And that was okay.
Until this week. When I traveled with someone who is now at the novelty stage in her career.
At the airport in Atlanta, she boarded the plane ahead of me. The gate agent greeted her and as she walked away called out,
"Have a great day lovely young lady!"I then gave him my pass. And I know, I should take what I can get and be thankful and blah, blah, blah. But what did he call out after me?
"Have a great day lovely lifetime lady!"Lovely lifetime lady? What the hell is that? He might as well have called me Betty or Blanche. Cause I was totally feeling like a Golden Girl. And the fact that I am citing the Golden Girls right now makes me all the older, I know.
We landed in Alabama and headed off to get our rental car. As the agent there checked us in, he handed me the contract and said in the kindest, southernest accent there was,
"Well here you go Mrs. Snyder, I am happy to tell you we have a Chrysler Town and Country Minivan for you two today."Screeching halt. I became semi-irrational. Which was better than bursting into tears.
"Please, can I not get a Chrysler minivan? That is what I have to drive at home. With three little boys in it. And one has very smelly feet. And I have a love-hate relationship with my minivan. Do you have something just a little but cuter? And smaller?"He said they'd find something but that we'd have to wait. Leading to small talk while we did. Leading to him asking,
"So where are you dropping her off for college?"Picking my chin (and ego) up off the ground, I responded,
"Wait, do you think I am her mom??!!"It didn't go well from there. He tried to pretend that he really thought I was her sister dropping her off for college.
I just wanted to walk through the streets and yell, "SOMEBODY CARD ME! JUST HUMOR ME! PRETEND YOU THINK I AM 20!"
But that would have been just plain crazy, so I resisted.
This is it. The novelty is gone. I look like a 23-year-old's mom.
So for now, this lovely lifetime lady is signing off, rubbing some Bengay on my elbows, taking out my teeth and calling it a night.
But not before I watch the 10:00 news.
Harumph.
