Keeping up with the Joneses

A six-week long school project. Research. Book shopping. Photos. Even a trip to the zoo.


It is third grade animal research project time. And it all culminates in having to create a three-dimensional model of the animal.

The directions that came home explained that the model should be no larger than their school cubby. So, at Caleb's conference, I asked to see the cubbies so I knew what we were dealing with.

His teacher walked us out to the hallway to show us an example from a student last year.

It was a bald eagle. That. Looked. Like. It. Had. Been. Stolen...From. A. Museum.

I mean, I am sorry, I realize that this is the first time I have had a third grader. And I don't have girls. And maybe Caleb's artistic skills are more average than I think they are. But I am going to go out on a limb here and say that there is no way in the world that any third grader made this piece. It was suspended in flight. Eyes focused on its prey. Incredible detail in the color and feature texture. Soaring over its shoebox which, of course, no longer resembled a shoe box but an amazing natural field.

This wasn't the first time I have seen this. There have been science projects. Overviews of their communities. And planets.

Oh the planets.

Yes, this fall, Caleb's class had to come up with their own planets and then create three-dimensional models of those, too.

This was also the project where we learned that three-dimensional models are not my forte. And that I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to paper mache.

And that, yes, it is possible to screw it up and have it take five days to dry.

But in the end it was Caleb's project. He came up with it. He chose the materials. He put it together. Because lets face it, clearly my help really just held him back.

But I was amazed when I went to the planet day at his school. No, not by the fact that other people are horrible at paper mache, too.

But by just how many of the planets made me think, "There is no way a kid did that."

Maybe I am delusional. Maybe my creative kid who loves to make things really isn't all that.

But maybe, just maybe, there are a few too many people out there who aren't really letting their kids take the leads on their own school projects.

So this weekend, Caleb had to make his gorilla. Brian worked with him on this one (see aforementioned planet). He offered to drive him out to get Styrofoam to form the body. But Caleb refused. He knew what he wanted to do.

He's cute. He's somewhat proportional and relatively anatomically correct. (Oh yes, this is a third grade boy we are talking about, he spent plenty of time making sure he had a gorilla butt.)

He's standing on a bed of homemade play-dough. And yes, he's still wet.

But most importantly, he was made by Caleb. The kid who is in school.

I have enough Joneses to keep up with and enough Jones-ing to do. I refuse to be measured by my kids' school projects.

So this morning, we will march Mr. Gorilla in to school with pride.

Because, in my humble, inept-paper-mache-er opinion? This is what a third grade project should look like.