Lessons we teach our children

Life is full of lessons. Some big. Some small.


Hold my hand when you cross the street.


Don't walk with a q-tip in your ears.


Don't jump on the bed.


Do say please and thank you.


It's not nice to burp at the dinner table.

Don't run with grapes in your mouth.


You have to have friends to be a friend.


And on and on and on.


But we had a big one at our house this weekend. It all started when I saw this.

Now it's not like I haven't seen this phenomenon happen at my house before. In fact, I see it pretty much daily.


But Saturday I thought it was time to break the spell. Tell the truth. Burst their toilet paper bubble.

Because not only did I see this, but I also saw that the roll that had been placed on the back of the toilet. You know, because it's too hard to change the roll? Yeah, that roll had been knocked off the back of the toilet and was floating in the bowl. An entire, new, double huge roll. (By the way, any and all claims that Charmin makes about absorbency are true. The roll had expanded to fill the entire thing. And yes, you are welcome for sparing you that photo.)


I called the two big boys into the bathroom with me and pointed to the empty roll.

Um boys, anyone see what I see?


Yup, there is a little bit left.

Right, and what do you see in the toilet?


Ohhh, um, oops. Sorry about that Mom. 

And they turned to walk out of the room.

Hey there boys, I don't think so, come on back. I am going to teach you one of life's great lessons. Right after I show you how to put a bag over your hand and use it to pick up gross stuff. Okay, now that that is done, I am going to show you the ease of, and importance of, changing the toilet paper roll.

And then I did, step by simple step, show them how to remove the old roll and place the new one on (yes, with paper over the top, as that's how we roll).


Surprisingly they actually seemed to be paying attention. It was as if they appreciated this little glimpse into the mundane details of adult life. It was almost as if it had never occurred to them that someone was having to change the roll for them.


When my mini-tutorial was done, both, without nudging or prompting, thanked me.


For teaching them how to change the toilet paper roll.


All I can say is that, somewhere...somewhere out there, there are two 9- and a 7-year-old girls who should both just preemptively thank me. Let it not be said that I never taught their future husbands anything.