This is likely equal parts age mixed with the whole new world of riding a bus with 8th graders. And really, when I think about that, swear words are probably one of the lesser evils that could come out of it.
Requesting I take their photo doing this might be more worrisome.
Last night, for instance, I offered to let them watch the end of "The Biggest Loser" with me. Or as I call it, the "getting healthy" show cause I'd hate to ever have them point a finger back at me and tell me that I gave them a complex about weight as kids.
Anyhew.
So I offered up 45 minutes of "the getting healthy" show and they both cheered. Man, my kids are strange sometimes. Then Caleb looked at me and said:
CALEB: Mom, sometimes on that show do they swear?
YOURS TRULY: Well, sometimes. But if they do, like if someone is really angry or something, they beep it out and put a blurry spot over their mouth.
CALEB: Oh, okay. Cool.
Not sure if that meant, cool, they swear. Or cool they beep it out. Or cool something else.
Watched the show. Well, it was the last half, so we watched people get on and off a scale for 45 minutes. And my kids were riveted. And I (I have to say) was brilliant and turned it into a math lesson.
"So if they need to lose more than 8 pounds to be safe, and they are currently 333, what number do we need to see?"
Genius, guilt-free parenting right there. We're not watching TV, we're doing math. And virtual Phy Ed.
And whattya know, good old Jillian Michaels (my buddy from my failed 30 Day Shred experiment, I failed, not her, in case you are curious) swore. And they beeped her out an put something over her mouth.
The kids were shocked and thrilled.
As the show ended Caleb looked up at me and asked,
CALEB: Mom, what does the F-word mean? Like F-word you?
YOURS TRULY: Hmmm, well Caleb, that is a tricky one.
First of all, I absolutely am the worst at defining words. I just can't do it. I just end up using the same word to define it. "What does divine mean? Oh you know, like really divine." So I was already at a disadvantage. But then all of these thoughts start swirling in my head.
1. I can't tell him what it means. Period. No question about it.
2. What does it really mean?
3. I mean I know what it means, but how strange that that is the supreme insult.
4. Wait, we haven't even talked to the kids about the birds and the bees yet, if they first time they hear about it is in the context of "what does the F-word mean" they will be scarred forever.
5. Maybe that is a good thing.
6. Where is Brian anyways?
7. He's still looking at me and waiting.
8. Aargh, I have to say something.
YOURS TRULY: Caleb, have you ever heard the term "Screw You"?
CALEB: Yes.
YOURS TRULY: Well, it has pretty much the same meaning.
CALEB: And what does that mean?
No. No! No!! No!!!
I admit it. I ducked and ran.
YOURS TRULY: It means like I hate you, go away.
And for now, that satisfied him. But I have a feeling he is going to have a pretty strange concept of why people have sex.
