Something happened this morning that got me thinking. One of the other bloggers from last night contacted me and kindly mentioned that she couldn't stand a photo of herself that I had posted from the event. And asked if I'd mind removing it.
Of course not. I get that. And let's face it, we blog writers can be a well-controlled (so as not to say controlling) bunch. We are putting ourselves out there for friends, family, colleagues and total strangers to see. So I get that we want to at least want to be able to control, a bit, just what is out there.
And so I took the photo down. And was happy she asked me.
But this leads me to my question. Untagging photos on Facebook.
I have to say, I don't get it. Okay, scratch that, I didn't state that correctly. I get it. Who wants bad photos out there. And yes, I get that it's annoying that Facebook puts photos that other people tag of you at the top of your profile page. So let me restate that. What I don't get is why we can't be strong and confident enough to not only choose to remove it, but also to let the person know why.
Now of if you have a photo that would get you in trouble at work or home or with friends. I get that. And there are plenty of stories out there along those lines. But I like to think I wouldn't ever post those. But I am talking the untagging of totally benign photos.
Unfriend me all you want (what I don't know won't hurt me, or even if I do realize it, I'm a big girl now, I'll be okay). But untagging photos. That I don't really get. To me, when I realize someone has untagged a photo it makes me feel a bit like they are saying, "Hey, I know we're Facebook friends and all, but I really don't want it to be acknowledged on my profile that I know or ever knew you."
Alright, alright, so maybe those are old junior high insecurities coming out. But that's how it feels.
Let me say this. I don't live a very risque life. Never have. And that is just fine by me. I have lots of photos of me hugging friends. Smiling and posing. Or mugging for the camera.
So the photos I have taken over my life also are pretty innocuous. Sure, I have been the person to dig up old junior high and high school photos. But here, for instance, are three photos where people untagged themselves.
A sorority formal, posing with a friend.
(and nope, neither one of us was holding a beer and no obnoxious cleavage or anything).
A trip to downtown Chicago with friends.
The sanctioned high school graduation party.
So here is my suggestion. Take it for what it is. If someone tags a photo of you online that you don't like. Or don't want out there. Or just plain are embarrassed by. Let them know. Just ask them to take it down, or untag you, or whatever.
But quietly untagging it does go noticed.
I am who I am. I have had great photos taken. And horrible ones. But I don't think I have untagged a photo (or even asked that one be untagged) yet. Sure, there might be a day that I want that to happen. But I'll let the person know first.
And so in the spirit of being real, and acknowledging that all old photos ever taken are not great, but that they are a part of my history, I'll share one of the worst ones ever taken of me. Junior high in Hawaii. And yes, my parents actually paid something like $12.95 at the luau to buy it.
