Of course our environment helps shape who we are. Our family dynamics, how our parents raise us, where we are in birth order, what we are exposed to. That all clearly plays a role.
But I have to believe, in particular as I look at our family of three boys, that there is a whole lot to the nature part of it, too.
And this morning, as I was cuddling with Eli, waiting for my turn to get up, showered and going, I had the perfect moment to illustrate this. Eli's newest thing is that he loves to wake up at about 6:00 a.m. (that isn't my favorite thing, by the way) and come cuddle with me (that part is). After a few minutes, he loves to burrow into the bed and pull the sheets over his head. Eventually, he finds my stomach and lays his head on it.
This morning, my stomach was evidently grumbling a bit. Which, if you have ever been laying on someone's stomach when it grumbles (how very strange, as I typed that, my stomach growled. Ah the power of suggestion...) it sounds like a massive clap of thunder.
Needless to say, Eli was very impressed with the sound and exclaimed, "Poots! Mommy poots!" I laughed and explained that lucky for him, no I had not "pooted," that was my tummy grumbling.
Eli: Oh gumbles, gumbles. Poots?
Me: Nope, no poots, just grumbles.
Eli: No poots? Poots, peese?
Me: No, Eli, you don't ask someone to poot. That was just my tummy grumbling. Mommy is hungry.
And so it went for awhile. Long and short of it, as cool as the grumbling sound was, he was looking for something better. Something like a poot (or toot, if you haven't caught on to what he was requesting yet). And mom just wasn't obliging.
This all got me thinking about observing Eli and his cousin Elliette, who is five weeks older than him.
Over New Year's, both kids had their moments of bodily noises. Elliette would follow hers with a cute little, "K'use Me." And Eli would follow his with "ha ha ha, poots!" Tell him to say, "excuse me," and he responds by nodding as if to say, "Yup, that would be a good idea, but you just did it for me."
And evidently girls at this age get the idea of posing for a picture. Boys, not so much.
So I was thinking about all of this as I got ready for work. And then my older boys really proved my point. When they went to bed, I looked like this.
And when they woke up, I looked like this.
And nope, they never even noticed.
So yes, there is both nature and nurture. And so we will seek to raise and celebrate our boys for who they are by nature. And, hopefully, teach them, by nurture, that it's a good idea not to ask a girl to "poot," to ignore the sounds when a girl's stomach "gumbles," and always to compliment her on a new haircut.
