Okay, let's be real. Most of the time I actually hate that time of the day. Mornings are brutal at our house. Our older boys have to be out of the house to head to school at 7:35. I follow suit with Eli about 7:40 to get him to daycare in time for breakfast. But, it never goes like that. Dropped mittens, lost backpacks, missing homework, slow eaters, spilled cereal, screaming toddler who refuses to wear his coat, mischievous toddler who takes off his shoes as you are about to go out the door and it's -7 out, you name it, it will go wrong.
Today was one of the worst ones.
In my effort to eat healthy, I was going to hard boil some eggs last night to put one in my salad. Yeah, that didn't happen. So mid-way through blow drying my wild hair, I remembered I hadn't done it and ran down to start a pot of eggs to boil.
Caleb informed me I should not go to work looking like that, because I looked like a crazy old lady. He was right.
I went back upstairs to finish getting rid of my crazy old lady hair while Brian coordinated breakfast.
I came down and frantically packed our lunches and tried to clean up the breakfast dishes. Brian scrambled upstairs to brush his teeth. And I started into the daily ritual of calling out "Caleb and Noah, it's 7:30, get shoes, coats, hats and mittens on."
7:32 They are trading football cards. Awesome just what I had hoped for.
I get to bark, a bit louder, at them to do the aforementioned getting ready.
7:33 Caleb is dressed, but has no shoes in his tote bag, I remind him to get those. Noah is singing his best Michael Jackson ever. Sure, it was pretty good, but I was highly uninpressed.
7:34 Caleb has taken off his mittens and is playing again. He decides this would be a good time to hug/attack Eli who screeches at him like a pterodactyl.
7:35 I grab Eli to go up to brush my own teeth. Yelling behind me to get ready, that Dad is coming and if boys aren't ready, he's not going to be happy.
[Oh, and did I mention that Caleb forgot his homework at school last night, so he needs to get there early to get it done?]
7:40 I come back down from brushing my teeth, slightly happier because I have been away for 5 minutes. Only to find they are all still there. And it is still sheer chaos. Noah is still in an ear warmer and the windchill today is like -30. Caleb still has no shoes in his bag. And Noah is singing Michael Jackson again.
7:41 I grab Brian's lunch and coffee and hand them to him. He is getting dressed to go, so he sets them on the floor. Eli picks up the coffee and dumps it over. I freak out and Eli cries.
7:42 Brian asks Caleb if he has tennis shoes in his tote bag. So Caleb proceeds to S-LO-W-L-Y pull everything out of his tote bag to check. I can see across the room there is no way he has shoes in there and dive headfirst into the closet to find his shoes.
7:43 Shoes found, I grab the tote bag and shove the shoes in. The handle on the tote bag rips and I hand the sad, lopsided bag to Caleb and tell him he's "going to have to make it work today."
7:44 They are about ready to go. Backpacks on backs and totes in hand. I am cleaning up coffee. The big boys start to walk out the door and Brian turns to say goodbye.
7:45 As he turns, he sees that Noah has left his tote with all of his winter gear on the floor. We are both fried at this point. And late. And annoyed. And in the moment, Brian called after Noah to tell him that he can't believe after all that he still left his tote bag. And then, he picked up the tote bag and drop-kick-punted it out the door.
I mean that little bag flew. And the contents of it flew out and all over the snowbanks in the backyard. And while the morning, thus far, had completely and totally blown, I had to laugh.
Because from then on, it will be known as the day that Dad Punted the Snowpants Bag.
I have no idea if they made it on time. But I am pretty sure Noah had snowpants.
Eli and I finally pack up and head out the door. We get in the car and I remember the eggs.
So other than the obvious pack lunches and make eggs the night before, I'd love to hear your thoughts about what you do to make that hellish morning routine just a teeny bit less hellish.
9 comments:
This is great. Could we see a new kicker for the Vikings in the playoffs. He has already shown the he can handle the weather elements. The kick is away, its up and its its its GOOD.
LOL! It's so bad, it's funny! You tell a great story.
That was very entertaining! It is a miracle if we are ever out of the house by 9, I can't imagine having three kids and actually having to get somewhere (work, school)!!
Great to see what I have to look forward to. I only have one in school right now. Can't imagine when they are all there.
Oh my word! This was HILARIOUS! I could totally envision your morning. I hope the rest of your day was better!
My parents always made me make sure everything was ready the night before....and that meant, I HAD to get all that stuff ready myself...then mornings were much more smooth.
So shoes in the bag, homework in backpack, lunches already packed, etc.
Oh man, that is too funny and I wish I had seen it!
We make Boo get everything ready the night before too. She is also the queen if being not ready on time so we use the timer on the microwave, it works pretty well so far.
It has been better since we really enforced the "get the bags ready the night before..." But I like the microwave timer idea.
This was a great story!! Sounds just like my house- only I just added a puppy to the mix! So I am trying to figure out the schedule to make it work! We have tried the whole night before thing- but If I don't check- then they usually forget something and the morning madness starts!!! I am going it alone in the mornings since hubby starts work at 5:00 am!! Good luck- if you find anything that works - let me know!!!
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