The big boys headed off to school and have been enjoying themselves. After their first day, I was peppering them with a million questions they didn't want to answer, as only moms can do. We talked about the day and then got to talking about the bus.
In the past, they have attended after school programs that were located in their same school building. But this year, we decided to move them to the after school program that our daycare began offering. To do this meant they would have to ride the bus there.
Their school is a 1-8 school, so you have a pretty wide age range.
We're driving home on that first day and I asked them about the bus, here's how it went:
Molly: So tell me, how was your first bus ride from school?
Caleb: Man, those big kids are wild! And they use a lot of swear words!
Noah: Yeah! Like I heard the "h" word and the "j" word (which we recently learned, when we couldn't figure it our ourselves, that is "jackass.") And a bunch of other words that I think are swear words, but I don't know for sure.
Caleb: Yeah, and Noah had to sit in the front seat as he is a first grader, but we were the first ones on the bus, so I just walked to the back seat of the bus and sat down.
Molly: [cringing] Okaaay, so then what happened?
Caleb: Man, those big kids are crazy! This one big kid just walked up to me and looked at me and said "MOVE." And stood there staring at me!
Molly: [dying and cringing inside but ducking while driving so Caleb can't see my eyes in the rearview mirror] Okay, so what did you do then?
Caleb: Well, I just looked at him and said, "But I was here first!."
Molly: [beginning to wonder that if, in addition to dying and cringing, I should also add a mental note to "look for great bodily harm on Caleb" to my list of things to do] So then what?
Caleb: He just said louder, "MOVE!"
Molly: Oh my, Caleb, so then what? [fully expecting the answer, "I burst into tears and moved to the front seat with Noah."
Caleb: I said, "But I was here first?!!"
Molly: And then what Caleb?
Caleb: Well he just then said, "Well can I sit next to you, then?"
So this dymanic continued each of the following days that first week of school. Caleb and this older boy seemed to have some kind of an understanding and he sat next to him. But on Day 2, Noah joined in the back of the bus chaos. Now, Noah is that kid that if you give him and attitude, he can give it right back to you. So when I heard this, I was even more concerned. On day two of him riding in the back, he informed me that an older girl had pushed him out of the way.
And here lies the problem. I know that as your kids age you need to let the leash out and let them first some of their own battles. And yet, I wondered if this had gone too far. When do I let them figure it out? And when does Momma Bear attack? I also know that I want kids who stand up for themselves and who want justice and for things, when they can be, to be fair and "right." But I also understand that as long as there have been busses, there has been a bus hierarchy, in fact,
I lived it in a big, bad way myself back in the day. And part of me wanted to just say, give in and let it go and sit in the middle of the bus.
We started week two and I picked the kids up from school and asked them how it went. They both informed me that they were "giving it up." That the fight over the back seat wasn't worth it so they were both now happily residing in the middle. And I sighed a hugh sigh of relief and felt like it had all turned out just fine.
